Some of you who read the blog know that our lives have lately been consumed by the wonderful world of potty training. I refuse to detail the process here, out of respect for the future adolescent Toddlerita, but here are some tidbits:

Current urination avoidance record: fifteen hours. As a person in her third trimester who is known to indulge in caffeinated beverages, I am astounded.

In response to the desperate last-ditch promise of fabulous prizes for successful performance: "But I don't need a prize. You gave me a big treat yesterday." (Fyi, she now offers me and Charles prizes out of her box when we "perform.")

When asked what she plans to do since she refuses to wear diapers, and refuses to try the potty: "I will not poop or pee ever!"

As per doctor's orders (the second doctor we consulted--the first one helped us get into this mess), we have ceased and desisted all training operations. For all of you out there who have kids but haven't gone through this wonderful "learning process" yet, please do yourself a favor and read at least one good book dedicated to the subject BEFORE your child can (a) remove her own diaper (pinned on with "toddler-proof" diaper pins) and/or (b) has sufficient knowledge of human anatomy and physiological function to state, "I do not have a feeling right now. My bladder has no pee pee in it."