After we read and sing our songs, the Husband or I (whichever one is on bedtime duty) steps out of the small people's room and heads downstairs. Normally, the Biggie starts snoring within moments, while the Wee One tosses and turns for a few minutes. Tonight I went back upstairs after I expected them to have fallen asleep and caught the tail end of this conversation. It had apparently been going on for quite some time, as the Biggie was admonishing the Wee One to "Get in your bed! Close your eyes and think about what you're going to do tomorrow. If you come up with any plans, whisper them quietly to your stuffed animals!" I know, I know, it's only amusing to the parents, but hey—you don't HAVE to read the blog.

(Note: the first part is about a crayfish that we caught in the creek and put in the tank with our turtle. It scuttled back and forth for a few days, then completely disappeared. We never found its creepy, insect-like body, ANYWHERE.):

Wee One: What happened to the crayfish?

Biggie: It crawled out of the tank and across the kitchen floor and the street and back into the creek. No actually, crayfish have special wings that they can turn invisible and they can turn on—then the whole crayfish turns invisible, and then it flies back to the creek.

WO: And then it turns into a crayfish again?

B: Actually it stays invisible so people can't catch them. The same thing happens with salamanders and all other wild creatures that people want to catch, like toads.

Re: camping (direct segue)

WO: What did you do when you was camping?

B: We set up our tent and then we stayed up really really late and had a fire and toasted marshmallows. In the morning we ate our breakfast—mine was Pop Tarts and bacon, Mama's was bacon and pancakes.

WO: What was her dinner?

B: Sausages and baked beans and water.

WO: Did you have milk and orange juice? Did you have a refrigerator?

B: No, all we had was a frying pan. We cooked our Pop Tarts on it and we also cooked our bacon and we also cooked our pancakes and we also cooked our sausages and we also cooked our baked beans and we also cooked Mama's coffee…

WO: Why do you need frying pants for sausage?

B: So we could cook it. I didn't mean frying pants, I meant frying PAN. It's a pan that fries.

(Silence. Four minutes pass. Snoring ensues.)

At the Wee One's Preschool, a posted list of "Favorite Things: colors, animals, food" (names changed to protect the innocent young Madisons and Ashleys of the world):

Madison: blue, turtle, peanut butter and jelly
Ashley: red, puppies, pizza

And then there's the Wee One: pink, horsies, ANIMAL MEAT

BOYS BEWARE. GIRLS-ONLY INFO BELOW:

I posted an ad in the sidebar, my first ever since the Google ads Fart Doll Debacle. It is for a super-cute Canadian company that makes cloth menstrual pads and sells other pleasing non-disposable girly products. I have tried this stuff, and I am never, ever going back.

No, I have not sold them my soul. And no, it is not gross.

Check 'em out.