So Much For Not Having Cable TV...(from the "Where Did THIS Come From?" Department)

(straight from the mouth of the babe)

I am Fiona, the Bad Ogre Slayer. I use this whip to snap the bag ogres in the eyes. I snap them and then they get all messy everywhere, and my husband Shrek comes and cleans them up and puts them all in the garbage, even their muscles, because we don’t want to have their slimy meat in our stir fry. We go to the grocery store to get chicken for our stir fry, and eat it up with broccoli.

This is my whip, and first I snap one eye of the ogre and then the other, and then it can’t see and I crack it on the head really hard with the air conditioner and it dies. I am very strong, you see.

Shrek, my husband, and I have children now. We have a seven year old and an eight year old and a nine year old and a ten year old and an eleven year old and a twelve year old and some babies. How many kids is that? I kill the bad ogres because they try to eat my children. They don’t hurt grown-up ogres.