She looks up from the breakfast table this morning, long-haired doll in one hand, scissors in the other. “Mama, please go upstairs so you don’t see what I’m going to do.”

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It Was Only a Matter of Time

Remember what I wrote before, about the scissors and the doll? That was funny, wasn’t it? I’ll bet you laughed your pants off! Ha, ha, HA.

I was on the phone this afternoon with my friend Lisa, and mentioned how quiet the Kid was being up in her room. “She’s probably peeing,” I said, laughing it off. What with our modern laissez-faire potty training, a little pee is no big deal around here these days. In fact, you could walk up to me and pee on my foot, and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

She came down after I got off the phone, while I was busy chopping vegetables for dinner. “Mama, I gave the fuzzy lion a haircut, because he wanted less hair.” No biggie, I thought as I concentrated on a particularly slippery slice of squash, it’s her own doll, as long as she doesn’t freak out when the fake hair won’t grow back. But wait a minute, she doesn’t have scissors up in her room, that wouldn’t be safe! And you know how goofy kids are, if she had scissors and was unsupervised, she might just...

CUT HER OWN HAIR. Which is exactly what she did. Why? “The dolls wanted some more hair.” In her room was a small pile of curly brown locks, stuffed into various pieces of dollhouse furniture. If only the dolls would “tell” her to pee on the toilet!

I evened out the sides and the front (“Mama, if you are mad, why are you cutting my hair more?”), but I can’t do anything about the top short of shaving it. She will just be a little goofy-looking for a while. And yes, the scissors are way, way out of reach now.