Dooce has an interesting discussion going on at her site, which I added to (see comment #789) but of course I don’t really think she’s going to write BACK to, so I’m shifting the discussion over to this site. I’d like to know what my little audience thinks. The basic gist of the discussion is the stay-at-home mom route as a valid choice for educated women, whether it’s anti-feminist, and whatnot—see her post for more details. You are all educated, some of you are stay-at-home moms, some are work-at-home or out-of-the-home moms, some are not moms (or dads) yet, and some never plan to be parents. What I’m curious about is, are you doing what you really want to be doing? If you’re a parent, do you feel like you spend enough time with your kid(s)? What is “enough” time, anyway? If you’re primarily at home, do you feel it is by choice, or necessity? If you’re working in addition to caring for your kids, do you feel it is the “right” thing to do, or do you feel pressured (by society, family, whatever) to do something different? If you’re not a parent yet, what do you think you’ll do when you have a kid? If you never plan to be a parent, was that decision made in part because you wanted to focus on your career instead?

I’m just curious about this. Personally, I wasn’t cutting it as a stay-at-home mom, so I got a job. The nature of that job, however, allows me an enormous amount of freedom that most workers don’t have. I think true feminism means that you can choose to take whatever route you’d like, without fear of societal backlash. The reality is that there is an enormous amount of societal pressure to live to your full professional potential, and simultaneously enrich your kids to their full potential. Are those two things truly compatible? I see a lot of women who are trying to do it all, at great personal cost.

Exercising your choices of course requires a certain amount of economic and social mobility, which I’m not really authorized to comment on (what am I authorized to comment on, emergent medical technologies?), but maybe you are. Let’s hear about it.

Come on, comment, because if you don’t I’ll feel like a loser. And don't use any swear words, because my auntie reads this site.

I added three new links in the ole' sidebar, there. I wanted a direct link to "Goddess of Clarity" so I don't have to sneak through "Fishsuit" every time I go there. "Passing Understanding" and "East Providence Zoo" are from folks whom I harassed into starting blogs. I have to work on the enthusiastic harassing; sometimes people don't like it. At a wedding the Husband and I attended last summer, I harassed everyone about dancing more to the incredible 80's music they had on. After a while, one (fairly drunk) woman looked at me and said, "You are very small, but I am still afraid of you, Dance Pusher."

Elmo is a just a red Grover.

Yesterday the Wee came home from daycare wearing a borrowed shirt, since she’d gotten hers wet. The borrowed shirt was a snazzy blue fleece number, with the googly eyes, round pink nose and crooked smile rounding out a face so familiar from my youth. “You’ve got a Grover shirt on!” I said to the Wee as I picked her up. She threw her body back and cried, “It’s Elmo!” “No, Elmo is red, this person Grover is blue,” I replied. “No, Elmo! ELMO!” she shouted.

At least we know she’s not racist. Though maybe she’s just colorblind.

To continue in the current vein of relative unimportance...

Upon serious contemplation, I really have to say that rather than Kiki's Delivery Service, a much more endlessly watchable film is Totoro. There. That's been bugging me all day.

Oh, and a much weirder habit than getting up at 4 am would be my obsession with organizing the groceries on the converyer belt at the store. I group them by type and weight, with the heaviest items, such as cans and boxes, first. Frozen items go next, all together so they end up in the same bag. Then dairy, then durable fruits and vegetables, then those of a more fragile sort. Lastly, chicken/fish/meat/eggs.

Alrighty, here’s yet another meme (That’s what they’re called! Don’t I sound hip?) which everyone seems to be doing. (Are you really interested? Don’t answer that question.) (Could I make MORE parenthetical comments?)

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Apple packer
2. Barista, before I knew that’s what they were called. The psycho owner accused me of stealing $15 from the cash register, which was tended by five employees simultaneously. I sincerely regret working as hard as I did for that woman. (And no, I didn’t take her lousy 15 bucks!)
3. Pathology assistant. Duties included singing the entire soundtrack to “The Sound of Music” during specimen gross-in with one of the particularly goofy pathologists (they were all lovely and weird)
4. Sandal maker/vineyard worker. Really. (I got paid in wine.)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Say Anything
2. The Sound of Music (duh!)
3. Harold and Maude
4. Kiki’s Delivery Service

Four places I’ve lived:
1. Westford, MA
2. Ithaca, NY
3. Seattle, WA
4. Uhhh…wow, that’s really it.

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Orcas Island, WA
2. Portland, OR
3. All over Alaska
4. Silver City, NM

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza
2. Lentils and tomatoes with garlic
3. Peanut chicken soup, the only reason to own a crock pot
4. Sopapillas from Sadie’s in ABQ, though they are really more like a snack

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Google News
2. Dooce
3. Pubmed
4. Overheard in New York Well not daily, but whatever.

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Baxter State Park, Maine
2. Orcas Island, Washington
3. Fishing in Alaska (in the summer!)
4. In a Cessna, 2000 feet up

There’s no one else to tag, everyone has already done this one! Argh.

OK, so according to “What Free Time,” I am “tagged,” I’m “it.” I’m supposed to post five weird habits I have. Here goes:

1) I chew my fingers. Not my fingernails, my fingers.
2) I repeatedly fail to buy bread and
crackers at the grocery store, fantasizing that I will make my own. What this really means is that the family is on a default low-carb diet.
3) This is a bad, bad habit: I passive-aggressively correct the Husband’s grammar in front of the kids by repeating what he says in the “right” way. He probably didn’t even realize I was doing this—until now. (Dang!)
4) Ummm… Aha! I am a little freaky about saving money, and enjoy thrift store shopping and free piles. A book I spend a lot of time with is the complete collection of “The Tightwad Gazette,” by Amy Dacyczyn. (Of course, then I go and pick one of the most expensive possible habits, flying—I’ll pay for it with the money I save by wearing $3 jeans and freecycled boots.)
5) I get up at 4 am and write in the blog.

All the people I want to "tag" don't have blogs--come on Jenn, Amy, Leah, Diana, Jean, Melissa and everyone else--get on the ball! Oh yes and the Goddess--tag right back at ya!